Why, in 2025, are we still so clueless about ADHD?
Think ADHD only looks like hyper little boys bouncing off the walls? Think again. Many adults have spent decades struggling with focus, emotions, or self-worth—never realizing ADHD was the missing piece. This post connects the dots.
For decades, ADHD was seen as a disorder that only affected hyperactive little boys. If you weren’t bouncing off the walls, struggling in school, or constantly getting into trouble, you probably never considered ADHD as a possibility. And if you were an adult who had trouble focusing, staying organized, or managing responsibilities, you might have been told you were lazy, careless, or just not trying hard enough.
The ADHD label is a somewhat recent invention and, I'd argue, a misnomer in many cases. As I researched its history for the ADHD timeline below this post, I couldn't help but think how slow we've been to recognize and understand it. As a result, many people with ADHD brains—especially women, high achievers, and those who weren’t hyperactive—still slip through the cracks when it comes to diagnosis.
Many of us spent our entire lives feeling “off” or “defective” without realizing our brains were just wired differently. Others were misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or even bipolar disorder. We were treated, medicated, and even hospitalized. But we never got better—because we weren’t ill. ADHD was the real issue all along.
Why do the general public—and even mental health professionals—still fail to recognize the signs of ADHD? And why are we slow to notice when we, or someone we care about, is struggling because of ADHD?
I think these are the most common reasons:
1. Lack of Awareness in Previous Generations
ADHD wasn’t widely recognized until the late 20th century. Many older adults grew up before ADHD was a known diagnosis, especially for anyone other than hyperactive young boys. Most people now know that ADHD exists, but they miss myriad signs and struggles that are beyond their limited knowledge.
2. Misdiagnosis as Another Mental Health Condition
Some ADHD symptoms can mimic anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. People treated for these conditions may not improve because ADHD is the root issue all along. One woman in an online community I’m part of I was misdiagnosed and mismedicated for decades—including inpatient psychiatric treatment—before discovering at the age of 83 that she had ADHD.
3. Masking and Coping Mechanisms
Some adults develop compensatory strategies that help them appear “fine”—until they hit a point where those strategies fail. For example, unlike many with ADHD, I had a great track record of never missing appointments. Even before realizing I had ADHD, I religiously entered all appointments in Google calendar. Then, over the last year or so, various entry screwups—a different one every time—caused me to miss multiple appointments.
4. Societal and Cultural Expectations
Struggles with focus, impulsivity, or organization have historically been seen as character flaws rather than neurological differences. Women, in particular, were expected to be naturally organized and responsible. I believe we still expect this of ourselves. Culturally, I’ve read accounts from people who struggled with ADHD as children, and whose parents dismissed those struggles, telling them “we” (their culture or race) don’t have ADHD.
5. The Focus on Hyperactive
For decades, ADHD was only associated with disruptive behavior. If you weren’t bouncing off the walls, no one considered it. Meanwhile, compliant daydreamers slowly slipped away.
6. “Smart = No ADHD” Myth
Many assume that ADHD means being unintelligent, or too disorganized to ever achieve big goals. High-IQ individuals with ADHD often hyperfocus on interests while struggling with everyday responsibilities. I managed to complete a Bachelor’s degree (magna cum laude) in the usual 4 years, with undiagnosed ADHD and as a working single parent of two and a commuter student. I still don’t know how I did it. Feeling like I was on a mission was undoubtedly key.
7. Personal or Moral Blame for ADHD Symptoms
People with ADHD were often told they were just lazy, irresponsible, or lacking discipline. A lot of us (self included) accepted this judgement and internalized it, making matters worse. US Senator Tommy Tuberville and other similarly ignorant people think our parents could have beaten ADHD struggles out of us.
If beatings actually worked, no one in my family would have ADHD.
Ignorance on display
8. ADHD is Perceived as a Childhood Disorder
Many doctors still don’t recognize ADHD in adults and believe it’s something you “grow out of.” it isn’t. Either it’s there or it’s not. When it is present, you may be able to develop coping mechanisms to minimize some of the things your younger self struggled with. Still, you’ll always have different and often challenging thought processes.
9. Misinterpreting ADHD Behavior as a Trauma Response
Undiagnosed ADHD can cause trauma—especially if someone spent decades struggling without knowing why.
10. ADHD is a “New Trend” Misconception
Some believe ADHD is over-diagnosed or a modern issue caused by screens, discouraging adults from seeking a diagnosis. Numerous experts agree that the upward trend in ADHD diagnosis is related to recognition of differences in an ADHD brain. While screens can definitely bring out the worst in my ADHD brain, they do not cause ADHD.
11. Mainstream Normalization of ADHD Struggles
Social media glorifies hustle culture, and being overwhelmed, overworked, and distracted. That leads too many people to the unquestioning assumption that everyone is actually hustling and overwhelmed (or should be), because it’s the new normal.
Awareness Can Change Everything
If you’ve held any of the beliefs on the list above, I hope you‘ll take a deeper look. You might be surprised by the ways ADHD plays out in the lives of real people. Despite being a person with ADHD and the parent of at least one ADHD child, I was nearly clueless about how much was related to ADHD.
Books like Matilda Boseley's The Year I Met My Brain and How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It) by Jessica McCabe were revelatory.
The Year I Met My Brain (audiobook version)
Matilda Boseley's adult ADHD diagnosis was a massive, earth-shattering event. She was given a prescription but had no idea what ADHD meant for her identity, her relationships or her future.
Twelve months of confusion later, journalist Matilda embarked on an epic voyage to figure out what's really happening in the stormy seas of the ADHD brain and write the guide she wished she'd had.
The Year I Met My Brain is the ultimate travel companion for navigating and enjoying life as an ADHD adult. 4.5/5 stars
Whether for your own understanding or because it may affect someone in your life, it’s important to know that ADHD isn’t just about being hyper or forgetful. It affects executive function, emotions, self-worth, and daily life in ways most people don’t realize.
Like trying to force a square peg into a round hole, refusing to recognize and understand ADHD leads to frustration and resentment—not just for those with ADHD, but for neurotypical people, too.
How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It)
Diagnosed with ADHD at age twelve, Jessica McCabe struggled with a brain she didn’t understand. She lost things constantly, couldn’t finish projects, and felt like she was putting more effort in than everyone around her while falling further and further behind. At thirty-two years old—broke, divorced, and living with her mom—Jessica decided to look more deeply into her ADHD challenges. She reached out to experts, devoured articles, and shared her discoveries on YouTube.
In How to ADHD, Jessica reveals the tools that have changed her life while offering an unflinching look at the realities of living with ADHD. The key to navigating a world not built for the neurodivergent brain, she discovered, isn’t to fix or fight against its natural tendencies but to understand and work with them. 4.8/5 stars
Millions of us have spent our lives believing we were lazy, crazy, or broken—when really, it was ADHD all along. Of course I wish I’d understood sooner what was actually going on. I’ve heard so many other late-diagnosed folks say the same thing, often with a tinge of regret. But at the same time, it’s incredibly freeing to realize that, at my core, I was designed to be different.
Even if I took that idea no further, just knowing the reason behind my monumental struggle to accomplish what others see as routine is a relief. Self-acceptance slowly begins to replace the self-loathing that never should have taken root.
“I don’t have to be like others” shifted to “I don’t want to be like others.”
Now, a year and a half into it, an even deeper realization is emerging:
Merely accepting that I can’t be neurotypical ignores everything I am capable of.
Who I am—and how I spend the rest of my time on this planet—has to begin with me, and be rooted in my unique design.
Not as a reaction to what I’m not, or who I was told I should be.
But as an affirmation of who I really am.
ADHD: A Brief History
1798
Scottish physician Alexander Crichton describes “mental restlessness” in children—likely the first recorded description of ADHD symptoms.
1902
British pediatrician George Still identifies “an abnormal defect of moral control” in children, noting impulsivity and attention issues. Early medical acknowledgment of the condition—but framed as a character issue.
1930s–1950s
ADHD-like behavior is linked to brain injury and labeled “Minimal Brain Damage” (later “Minimal Brain Dysfunction”). Seen through a medical lens, but still poorly understood.
1968
The term “Hyperkinetic Reaction of Childhood” appears in the DSM-II. ADHD becomes an official diagnosis—but only in children, and mostly those with disruptive behavior.
1980
DSM-III introduces the term “Attention Deficit Disorder” (ADD) and acknowledges two types: with and without hyperactivity. Recognition begins to broaden, but diagnosis still skews heavily toward boys.
1987
DSM-III-R replaces ADD with “Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)”. The name shift reinforces the idea that hyperactivity is central, further marginalizing inattentive types.
1990s
Awareness increases rapidly—but public and professional understanding remains limited.
- ADHD is seen as a “boys’ problem.”
- Girls, adults, and high-functioning individuals are rarely identified.
- Media fuels moral panic over overdiagnosis and stimulant use.
1997
CDC begins tracking parent-reported ADHD diagnoses. Early data shows 6.1% prevalence in children. Rates climb steadily over the next two decades.
2000s
- Schools play a major role in referrals, but focus remains on externalizing behavior.
- ADHD in adults gains slow recognition, but many doctors remain uninformed or skeptical.
- Cultural myths persist: “ADHD isn’t real,” “It’s caused by bad parenting,” “Everyone’s distracted now.”
2013
DSM-5 updates criteria to better reflect adult symptoms—but many adults, especially women and people of color, remain undiagnosed due to bias, masking, and outdated stereotypes.
2020s
ADHD awareness explodes on social media.
- Many adults recognize themselves for the first time.
- Diagnosis rates continue to rise—but access, stigma, and cost remain barriers.
- Misdiagnosis as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder is common.
- Racial and cultural disparities are finally being discussed more openly (e.g., belief in some communities that “ADHD is a white people’s thing”).
May 2025
Millions of adults live with undiagnosed ADHD—especially older adults, women, and marginalized populations. The systems meant to identify and support them still rely on outdated assumptions, narrow diagnostic criteria, and biased screening.
We won't change them overnight, but we can start by digging deeper than stereotypical profiles. And then when we are ourselves informed, begin challenging wrongheaded and harmful disinformation.
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